Unattached

Welp, it has been a year since graduation. And here is what I have learned:

If there was an American Idol for runners I would stand in line, sign up, and pray. I can even see the possible titles now- "The Next American Pre", or "The Skinny", or "Survivor: Olympic Trials Edition", or something of the sort. Maybe Oprah could do a special on...shoot.

There would be rounds, tests, trials, underdogs, front runners, hometown favorites, judges, and, of course, fan voting. Competitors would be tested and judged on consistency, talent, guts, race savvy, teamwork, potential, heart, and that little bit of crazy that all runners have. The runners would get the chance to train at incredible facilities, with the best coaches, and full support teams ready to help them. This would all lead up to races and challenges as individuals and teams to see what the athletes could do given a chance.

I am not saying this would be the next summer hit show, but it would have plenty of drama, work, sweat, tears, and chances to shine. Really. It is a way to work on some of the biggest problems for the sport of track and field- lack of a fan base, lack of support, and the way potential athletes struggle after college.

Selling out you say?

You must not know American distance running. If that is selling out, then it would mean we finally have something to sell to America. Right now, the deal is very little for very few. A lot of good runners don't even stand a chance. Local heroes. PR junkies. Dreamers. Hard workers. The "unattached". The fairly fleet of feet. Doing the best we can with what we have.

It is a hard dream. One that I was half heartedly pursuing. Still loved running. I just had no idea how to keep going. Then, I smiled at the end of my race.

Remembering why

The training was getting hard and I didn't feel like anyone was giving me a chance. For a track girl, it sure is hard to watch all of the great track meets that have been happening this year and not really step on the track myself. The hardest part about trusting in your training is not always knowing where your fitness is, especially in a place you like to perform. And just hoping that you can put something together at the right time. I knew there would be a difference between training in college and training now, but this is pretty different.

Only a mile, leaves you with a smile

Running becomes more of a battle when you are working more than one job and trying to squeeze in the training. You just hope you can get back to where you were in college. Then what happens when you keep improving? Your own legs getting your hopes up. All the work you are trying to squeeze in just to maintain, and all the things telling you that you won't succeed? You know you are going to have to fight to feel good. Well, the fight is back. It came with a smile, a mile, and those awkward legs of mine. A pair of new shoes always helps. Fighting for that someday, one day, maybe chance that someone sees a little more. Or that your legs finally get you there. If no one else sees it, hopefully I can get my legs to take me there anyway...

Someday I hope someone takes a chance. It is a dream I will carry around for a long time. Unattached is tough, but the road is fun and there is always something new to do (and usually plenty of company). I'll just keep smiling, until something makes my smile bigger.

:)

This Little Light of Mine

The fireflies.

They found me in the middle of Texas.

I didn't think it was possible to see them anywhere but my Nana Pat and Papa's house in Iowa. Never did I think they would find me in Alamo Heights. Never did I think I would need a firefly to save me. Never did the underpass on Devine Road seem so magical. The dirt still smelled like the rain storm that just dumped through. Sherlock and I were running down the road at dusk.

Then, that little tiny light flashed. There were three small unforgettable bulbed bugs right in front of me. One of the most beautiful moments I have seen in Texas. Everything was simple. Green hung in the air. Ooooonn. Off. Ooooonn. Off. Ooooonn. Off. Everything else was just frozen, painless, and fuzzy in the background. My life slowed way down in an instant.

My fireflies reminded me of the way I wish I could always live my life. Slow. People laugh when I say I take everything but running slow, but it is the truth. Everything in Texas has seemed to be accelerating since i got here. I miss my speed. And by that I mean I miss my slow. I miss the days that felt like weeks and the moments where I got to just take everything in.

Never has a year passed by so quickly for me. I am no longer the just-graduated. In fact, I just had my first dinner, in a long time, where I really sat down and enjoyed it . (What helped was that the meal was just so incredibly good- sorry I am such a terrible cook Derick!) Does this mean I need yoga? That is what people have been telling me, and I see how that may seem. But reality? I just need some mountains. An ocean. Some sort of aged forest. And birds. Lots of them. An ocean isn't that much to ask, is it? I also need to not be the center of my own world again. That is when my life hits turbo drive and becomes less fun.

Did you know the human ear is tuned to hear best right around the same frequency of most bird song? My sanity lies in feathers and the clear sound of song. Good thing I bought a Groupon to the Mitchell Lake Audubon Center. Time to grab my bins, a sandwich, my hiking boots, and some sunscreen. Hello heaven.

I am getting that urge to go live outside again. It doesn't take long for your life to slow down when you stand next to a forest of trees that took hundreds of years to grow. I need something with rhythm, besides my own footsteps. Ooooonn, Off. That is how you slow your life down. All it takes is one little light to tell you. And one little vacation. Work, do you mind? :)

Green may mean "go" but in a "go slow" sort of way :) Welcome back to my life fireflies.