Renegade Runner

My first trip to the gym in... two? Nope. Three months... Finally. And I lied, I actually went to the gym once in those 3 months, but I ended up just sitting in the cafe and eating. Like a hungry lifting fool who just maxed out in a hard core lifting session, and yet I had just walked in and sat down. Whew. Handing the front desk worker my card to swipe really wiped me out! Totally deserves a smoothie, sandwich, and a cookie!

I have been in denial of my pathetic-ness for about the same amount of months. There was something about my attitude that kept me in a state of flat out stupidity and I just refused to believe I had gone that far from what I wanted to be. Then, like so many times, Derick brought me back. This is why he amazes me-

Early Morning Conversation:
Derick- "Let's make a goal chart for the next 5 days and see if you can do it."
Lauren- "Why? I get out the door and run... most of the time."
D- "Well, you could be doing a little more."
L- "WHAT? For real? My hamstring just won't get any better, it is hard to run and all that stuff when your hamstring hurts that much, jeez."
D- "You could be doing some things to help your injury..."
L- "Like what? Foam roll, totally do that...ah sometimes. And I know I need to do more core, I just don't like that stuff. Its... hard."
D- "It will help you run better."
L- "Gah, well I don't have time. I have to cook, work, clean, and do all this stuff! When am I supposed to do this?"
D- "I will help. I'll cook on the nights you get home late so you don't have to worry. I just want you to be able to look back in a few years and know that you gave everything you could to be the best runner you could. I'm not trying to make you do anything you don't want to, and if you are happy where you are at right now, then we are right where we should be. But if you want more, work for it."

Who in the heck says that? Right, my incredible bearded wonder. See how carefully he leads me to my major realization? He lets me complain, lets me get all the crap out, and then, BOOM, wakes me up!

I became quite the whiner some where in the last year and Derick has slowly tried to help me steer back in the right direction. I sat there, curled up on the floor after a 4 mile run, and realized that I could not look back on what I was doing so far and be satisfied with it. I couldn't even be proud of my last 365 days. Perspective usually comes with time, and my timing could be viewed as both late and early. It has taken me a year of doing the same lazy routine to realize that it is not helping and I can't get faster with it. Wimping out for a whole year is pretty bad. On the other hand, I didn't need a lifetime to realize that I have more to give, more to run, and more to discover. Thank goodness Derick has his mature moments side. :)

Totally my choice. I can look back and have to be happy with where I am, or not be satisfied and I can create a stronger me. That is the theme for this season- take everything that I think is too hard and do it. A month ago, everything I tried to do made me more tired. This week, I did my Running Fit class with Run On! and I went to the gym. I had forgotten how great a lifting session could feel. Something has definitely changed. Earlier in the year I wanted to go out and do some of the strengthening work outs, but I was exhausted. Now, something is finally clicking and it feels good to make my arms sore. I have missed that feeling so much. I know I finally made the choice to make a solid effort, but it feels different this time. Sore and tired is so different from wiped out and exhausted.

Could it possibly mean I am finally adapting to life after college? I have heard it can take up to two years from other runners who have gone through it before. Sounds about right. I just can't believe the difference that I felt. The past year I was sleeping awfully, eating terribly, and not doing the extremely important "little things". Am I sleeping better? Nope. Eating better? Possibly, but not consistently yet. Doing the non-running workouts? Starting the routine. The future may not look better yet, but today sure looks a hell of a lot better.

This isn't an I'm-ready-for-the-Olympic-trials realization, but it is definitely a ready-to-be-the-best-runner-I-can-be sort of deal. And I am going to need some majorly awesome music blasting through my headphones in order to make this happen. Also, I took it as a sign at the gym when Forrest Gump was playing on the televisions they had up. Let's see what can happen when I finally have some steam behind my miles...

Some of the most truthful advice I have gotten in the past year:
"Real elite athletes don't have real jobs Lauren. All they do is run, train, and have more talent than you. So, you can't really work a real job and think you can compete with them."
---Luckily, I love a challenge, and that sure sounds like a great one. Plus, I'm not trying to compete with them (yet). I just need my two feet to take me as fast as they can. My real job will just have to pay the bills until my feet can.

On my way to becoming, in all ways, a Renegade Runner...
Bring the miles
Bring the challenges
Bring the reasons
Bring the hurt
And I'll bring the Renegade
(with smiles)

And the Turkey Trotted, Thought, and Thanked

Today is the day of feathers. By that, I mean today is Thanksgiving and no matter what kind of feathered wings you have, the best way to make room for all the wonderful food, family, and fun you will have on this day is to get outside and enjoy a RUN! Thanksgiving does not care if your feathers are worn out. Nor does this holiday mind if your feathers are a bit out of shape. Those wings of yours can be new, flashy, dusty, sharpened, tired, dirty, and/or downright developed but this holiday will take you. If you show the holiday some love with a little jog, it will love you right back. It will love you with creamy potatoes, sweeter than candy corn, mouthwatering turkey, unstoppable stuffing, and a whole buffet of desserts. So. Much. Love.

So today Derick, Sherlock, and I all went to the San Antonio Road Runner's Turkey Trot in Mcallister Park to stretch out our little feathers. I was first there to hand out some race fliers, but at the last second I couldn't resist the chance to keep the traditional turkey trot running streak alive. Luckily, even on race day at 8:33 am (the actual 4 mile race starts at 9 am) the race only costs 10 dollars to register! Great deal there! We parked at Blossom Athletic Complex and decided to run over to the park and use it as a warm up. The total mileage from our car to the actual starting line was almost perfectly 2 miles! Warm up- check! A little birdie had told us that the park was going to be shut down to all cars anyways so that the shuttle buses and necessary vehicles could have easy access to the roads and get all the racers to the starting line on time. It only took a few feet into the park to realize this had not been enforced. People were streaming in to the park in all sorts of ways- on foot, bike, and vehicle. The crowding had begun and was complicated by the people who decided to leave their cars inside the actual park. This makes it almost impossible for the shuttle buses to get through the park and drop off the racers fast enough! But besides the hassle of getting to and from the race, we had a great time!

The SARR Turkey Trot features a 4 mile course (3.87 mile by my garmin this morning!) that takes you through a fun portion of the paved trails in Mcallister park. There are some narrow spots and a few sharp turns, but the course is actually fairly nice. The park is a sort of twisted pretty. After doing the course for the second year, I am able to say it is well marked and the directors always have a blast starting the race. This year though, I almost missed a turn right before the three mile marker, but it was my own mistake and not for lack of flour markings. :) The mile markers were a bit off, but how many races like this do you think have actual accurate markers? Hell, how many races like this have markers? They start the race in waves, because of how tight the starting line is and the number of participants in the race. While our little race does not get the numbers like Houston and Dallas, the number jumped up to 3000+ runners and walkers this year! Big jump from last year, as the same number of total participants from last year had pre-registered this year! As the number of participants goes up, it may get harder to enjoy. The paths are probably wide enough to squeeze 4 runners across, but strangers racing together always mean a few less can fit because of boundary issues and courtesy. I already had to weave quite a bit through most of the race, and I started in the first wave (my fault for not getting out quick enough!)

Even if the number of participants keep rising for this race (like I think they will), the run over-all is worth, for traditions sake, the strategic planning and parking hassle required. The group that puts the race together puts in a lot of hard work and tries very hard to make sure people are having fun! The door prize turkeys are a great little extra flair as well. I also can't wait for the photos from the race! I noticed a girl running with an awesome turkey headband on the top of her head and would love to see it again!

I ended up finishing with a 24:39 for the 4-ish :) mile run. Not a terrible day for me. But by no means was it a rock-solid performance. I realized how much work I have to do over the next couple months! That is more helpful, to me, than running a super fast time! While I was just a hair faster than last year (still, 24 minutes is plenty of time to think), I am on much more shaky ground. A few work outs have been completed, but I can't seem to shake a nagging hamstring injury that keeps resurfacing from a race last March. I also struggled through my summer runs and the cross country season. I competed in one road 10k and in an alumni cross country race over that season and ended up with the same result- a stressed out hamstring and a questioning glance towards my future. I know I was more fit at this time last year, so it is time to put my nose to the grindstone and see what kind of a track season I can actually have!

DPU XC ALUMNI RACE 2011-
GIBSON FAMILY XC COURSE,
TERRE HAUTE, INDIANA

What ever the type of season I make for myself this year, I am so thankful to have the opportunity to keep running. While it doesn't always feel like the competitive and glamorous life I was picturing after graduating, I still am going to races and getting that same nerve rush before lacing up my shoes and putting on my uniform! I still have a goal to improve and to always do my best. My lack of blog updates has shown how much I have been taking for granted. That passion that I counted on through college and the time that I had  to dedicate are all things I struggle with now. But just when I don't think I have any reason to run, something always shows me that I am not done yet. What ever I can do this season I am dedicating to my sister, Deanna. She is an incredible basketball player at Adams State College. In her years as a Grizzly I have seen De become a force as a leader, player, and student-athlete. She has so much more ahead of her and I can't thank her enough for always continuing to inspire me and push me to be that athlete and person that she is. While she doesn't deserve the challenges placed in front of her this year, she is the only person I know who can handle, rise above, and use them to make her stronger. So that is what my goal is, to take my challenges, problems, and set backs and do what my sister does- come back even stronger from them! (De you truly are an incredible person and I am so thankful to have you as my sister!)

I am slowly finding the running community I was hoping to be a part of and I am so thankful for the groups out of Run On!, Trinity University, and my friends and family spread all across the world for helping me build up to becoming a better runner. Thank you for giving me a job, the support, and a hope for the future.

Derick, you always need to be thanked. I think I do a pretty good job of it, but I know  your ego won't mind a little more! Thank you for wanting what I can't sometimes and for staying tough with me!

Thank you legs for giving me the miles I want, the heart I need, and the dedication I crave. (Eventually...)

Giving thanks with smiles
And surviving the miles
Trot on, feathered friends...

Gearing Up

I may have graduated, but I still believe in back to school shopping. I figure, I am working just as hard as I did in school, so I deserve to gear up for a new season and a new year. Only now everything seems to be running orientated... go figure.

Purchases in order to be properly prepared:

Gary Garmin

This is the reason why my new favorite number is 610. Meet Gary, my new training partner! I have decided to upgrade from a regular Soleus timing watch to the big daddy- the newest touch screen Garmin Forerunner 610. So far I have absolutely loved it. Besides being slightly depressed after realizing how slow I actually do most of my runs, I am in obsession mode. I can tell my cadence with the foot pod and I am getting some of the first heart rate feedback I have had in many years. Lots of information all at my fingertips. The best part is that I get to upload all the info my 610 gives me right to the training log I have been using for 5 years- Logarun. It has been a great way for me to log/journal/record all of the stuff I have trouble remembering. I can't express how important it is as a runner to keep track of things like your mileage, sleep habits, weight, weather, and the way you felt after races and work outs. You can see patterns and habits that you may not be able to see with out a log. Some of it seems like common sense, but we all know how easy it is to let life just kind of rough us up a bit. PS- the graphics and the way Garmin Connect sets up the website and info is really great! I love the map of the route I ran. I can see everything! Plus, it is so much thinner than any of the GPS watches I had seen. Fits my little wrist just right!

Fire, as worn by the Asics DS Trainer

Of course, in a healthy relationship it is only fair that you give as much (or more) as you receive! So my surprise for Derick was a new pair of DS Trainers! They were perfect Trinity colors. He used to run in these and while he has a new pair of running shoes (see below!) now I figured they would make a great coaching shoe! He fought me a bit on the size (he has worked at a running store as well, if you are in Ohio go here: Columbus Running Company) but I won. They are just a color update to the DS Trainers set out this year, but I loved the red. I am still waiting on feedback from Derick, but he has worn them a couple times. They have to compete with the new wear test shoes that Puma sent him and his new running shoes(New Balance Road Minimus) but I think he likes them.

New shoes+ Old feelings = minimalist

Enter Derick's new running shoes. He has never really been a minimalist runner, buuuut I have been begging him to get new shoes for a while and these are what he went with. The New Balance Minimus. I have had a pair for a while and I just use them for work. After my race at Jon's Run, I realized that my feet are not quite as young as they used to be and I need to be careful of which shoes I run in. For me to transition into minimalist running, I have to take a very cautious and slow approach. Derick, on the other hand has been wearing the same pair of DS Trainers and old Puma flats for years. That is basically like running minimalist- no cushioning and most of the support is long gone. The Road Minimus basically feels like a racing flat, for those of you who are familiar with light weight shoes, and Derick has been able to just start running in them and not look back. I am a bit jealous! My Brooks Adrenalines and I will always be best for each other, but I miss the days where I could pop on a pair of flats or spikes and just run fast for a bit. Derick hasn't complained one bit about the lack of cushioning or flat feel. I tried to get him to grab a pair of the NB 1190's but he stayed solid on wanting the Minimus. Runners who are wanting a great transition shoe in the minimalist world would be very happy with the road or trail Minimus. New Balance has done a great job of re-vamping their style, approach, fit, and technology to be on a whole new edge of running.

Minimalist by heart,
but nature calls for a little help for my feet

The other side of New Balance: Trail Minimus. This is the new women's color and they were great at work today! I have a pair of the Road Minimus, and I have been so in love with them I refused to go to the other side! Until today. The fit is very different than any shoe I have had. Automatically I want to stand differently when I slip the shoes on. With very little heel, my feet sit flatter on the floor and I use my forefoot more. In some of my other work shoes, I get some pain in the balls of my feet because the taller heel shifts my weight a bit forward and I put a lot of weight on that part of my foot. While I can't run in a minimalist shoe, I can still benefit from wearing them at work! They help my posture at work and while my calves were sore after the first few times that I wore them, they feel much better now.

More my speed

The Nike Lunarglide was the first shoe I purchased at Run On! when I got the job. Generally, in retail, you should get used to wearing the product that you sell. My first day I showed up in a pair of Derick's Pumas. We don't have a single thing by Puma in our entire inventory... I had to catch up quick! My old closet of shoes used to include about a 75/25 ratio of dress shoes to running shoes. I really only needed one good pair of training shoes and a pair to race in. Now, I actually forgot that I still have a pair of cute boots and at least one pair of heels in my closet. I am in running shoes almost 24/7 now. The ratio has tipped quite heavily towards the cushioned, supportive, and colorful athletic footwear! I have become such a huge shoe nerd. For 6 years, I was strictly a Brooks loyalist. Still loyal, but quite curious now, I have explored and found many shoes that I like the feel of. The fun part has been being able to try the different shoes on my runs and workouts. The Lunarglide has been a great shoe. First time on they seem to have a semi-firm feel. But walk around in them for a day and you feel them soften right up! One of my favorite work shoes and a shoe I can run in on lighter days.  

The Sacrowedgy

You can not overlook injury prevention when you start running again. With some of the back pain and sciatica I have been having, Derick recommended the Sacrowedgy. I ended up needing the guys version as a "taller slender female" because my hips apparently are "shaped more like a male" as the instruction manual puts it. It was "a more natural and comfortable fit"...It is a pretty awkward device but I haven't used it enough to tell what the difference is. The goal is to help situate the hips like a sports medicine or a chiropractor does. I will keep you updated on the results of this fun-looking device. 

Kettle Bell does not equal Kettle Corn

The final purchase we made was a little Kettle Bell. While I try to stay motivated and get to the gym, I don't always have that much energy. Body weight has always been enough for me, but I have seen the light. The lifting light. I feel strong is when my arms can match the effort of my legs and my heart. Apparently, I don't weigh enough make that happen. The Kettle Bell helps with that. At least I can look at it now and remember that if I was motivated enough to buy it, then I will sometimes have enough motivation to use it!



GIGI'S CUPCAKES

Of course after a long day of shopping and gearing up for the upcoming season, it is easy to have your energy sources depleted! Simple solution: EAT AT GIGI'S CUPCAKES! They are amazing and I have eaten way to many of them. Easily my favorite is the Red Velvet Cupcake. Beware, they only make certain cupcakes on certain days. But just look at the pictures...the frosting is taller than the cakes and I would run a very long distance to have these amazing little things.  

Also- I have a wish list of other things I am waiting to gear up on. Next on my list is the Stunt Puppy leash so Derick and I can run hands free with Sherlock.

The Stunner

Freaky Friday

The past few days I have been feeling pretty awful. My work outs were getting worse instead of better and everything just seems harder than normal. Not really the norm for me. I must have peed in a magic water fountain or opened a cursed fortune cookie and switched places with this other person I have been. Obviously these are the only logical explanations. Or maybe I tied my shoes the wrong way...

I was debating on what to do: take time off and give myself some rest or try and push though.

One of the toughest things to do in running is to figure out what pain is OK and what exhaustion level is OK. And where to draw the line. Even if you are being a good little consistent runner, the line is never consistent. One day, you are pushing through a calf cramp and a month later it is a torn hamstring. You fight being tired only to end up tapped out, burnt out. How can you tell what to run through?

Mostly, I think it is an individual choice. Since I believe that our choices help make us who we are, I take most of mine pretty seriously. So, it is hard to approach a choice of running or taking time off- except for SAS, I don't really want to be thought of as weak! But that leaves only one option: run through everything. Force it. Force it to work. Force your way through the hard, the tough, and the ugly. I always believed the right things would happen if I just made the tough choices.

One problem: Force is not the same as Confidence. Forcing your way through a work out means you can only do just that. Use force and get through. Force it till you can make it. Only this isn't a reality TV show and you can't just "fake it till you make it". Force is not fight, nor is it heart. It just is. The force I am talking about is not the drone defeating, Darth Vader slaying, Obi Wan Kenobi force. This is the dark side force. The one that should hardly ever be used. Forcing a work out, forcing that second run, forcing those drills can be the very thing that makes you weaker. Not stronger. The mental edge you could lose is not worth the physical gain.

At least to me, the key is to build those things into your routine. That is where the gain lies- building yourself into something instead of trying to bend yourself around some sort of plan. This past year I have forced a lot of things. Everything from mileage to recovery. I haven't built very much of anything. It is true that I have been trying to work on my weaknesses, but I feel like I have lost touch with my strengths. Example A: I am super at recovering, if I give myself time to do so. Doubling every day has left me more exhausted than anything I have ever done. That includes the SCAC meet where I ran the 1500m, 800m, and 5k all in the span of a few hours and lived. I was less tired then than I am now after some of my simple 40/20s. It is not really the doubling, but the fact that I am not giving myself the correct time to recover. There lies my one of my problems. I am forcing too much work. I wanted to be good really really fast. So just do it all at once, right?

Why would I have to force something I love to do, you ask? Well, simple. 'Tis because I have been fighting myself the whole way. My comfort zone is in middle distance work. Short. Quick. Painful. But over rapidly. My mental edge has always been in trying to stay stronger than my competitor just long enough to finish up the race. Try doing that in any distance over a mile...hard stuff. You have to have something else to keep you going. Confidence. Drive. Heart. And lots of Fire. You also have to have more than 30 miles a week. Switching gears like that has taken me to a whole new level of strength I didn't know I had, but it has called my lazy butt out on all the little things I never took that seriously. I did just enough core to keep my IT Band from flaring up. Just enough arm strengthening to keep me strong down the last stretch. Doesn't really scream FIRE at you does it? I wanted to be fast, I didn't understand everything it would take to get there.

While I may have lost sight of a few of my goals lately, and I have been struggling to keep my motivation up, I am definitely learning a lot. I know the base I have gained over the past year has been great. I know that forcing myself through some of those work outs showed me I can really do well at distances over 1500m! That is a huge step for me! My idea of rhythm during a work out used to be hitting 67's for 4x400 and calling it a night. Now I understand there is this wonderful groove that you can find during a tempo that takes you farther and faster than you think you can go. Taking the splits for those longer distances is addicting. You want to keep edging a little more time off each mile. I have definitely found my heart in some of those work outs and found a love for distances I never thought I would want to meet.

I am also learning a lot by reading what other runners are going through. My favorite runner used to be Shannon Rowbury. While she still has this special place in my mind, I have a few others making their way to the front of my inspiration block. I have been reading Lauren Fleshman's blog and I have to say I am a bit obsessed. Her attitude towards running and life has made me laugh, cry, and hope. She is an incredible runner and if I could end up with a shadow of her life I would be doing pretty well. There are runners everywhere trying to make the most of their legs. Runner's dreams riding on 10 toes, the strength of their bones, and the power and endurance in their muscles. While we are all taking different paths and running different roads, many of us hope to end up on the same track. Most professional runners seem to have had some sort of injury before, so at least I know I am not alone there! I have a long way to go until I even somewhat resemble a professional athlete, but until then, I will just say I am a pro runner trapped in a jogger's body. And smile on. With the help of people like Taylor Penrod at least I can look good while I do it!  

And one final note of good news- after spending a whole summer in Texas believing our apartment was supposed to get really hot over the summer, Derick and I now have a fully functioning air conditioner! I no longer wake up sweating unless I have the terrible "Revenge of the Runner Buns" dream again.

Calling All Tigers

*Black & Gold Tigers skip down to the ********** segment if you would like
*Maroon Tigers read from here :)

So San Antonio has been pretty desolate since the exiting of the Trinity senior class of 2011.

Graduation meant that it would be mostly Derick, Sherlock, and holding down the fort around town. The seniors were leaving and all the underclassmen were headed back to their families for the summer. While my summer has been wonderfully substantiated by moments of absolute Joy, literally- fun times with Joy Lindig, classes need to start so that everyone has to come back. It. Is. Time.

Thus, TUXC, here is a list of things I will need in the next few months:
-Main Street Pizza Outings (Derick... ahem... Coach Lawrence hasn't taken me out at alllllllll)
-Long Runs (preferrably fun routes we come up with- Contour and Dick F. are even more boring over the summer)
-Awkward Meetings With The New Freshmen (Who is that girl? Didn't she already graduate from school? Why is she still hanging around the team? What do we call her? So she's engaged to the coach?)
-Five Guys Outings (Yes James Woolley!)
-Pre-Meet Pasta Nights (Obvious- you all have to fuel up some how)
-A Partner For My Core Routine (ROSEMARY PLEASE COME BACK!!!)
-DoubleDaves Outings (notice how many references to food there are?)
-T-Shirt Making, Craft Forming, Girls Talking Nights (I am tired of beards and boys)
-Visits At Run On! (I am there 40 hours a week but still make it out to practice with you all, we have to meet in the middle somehow!)
-Meets, Invites, and Championships To Bring Out My Inner-Cheerleader Again (Seriously, my lungs are weak, and so is my cheer face)
-Luch Dates ANYWHERE (my grown up tastebuds are returning)
-Ultimate Frisbee Games (So I have something other to watch than Netflix)
-Team Dating (I have mine, go get yours)
-MARK GREENE (btw how was China?)
-The Antics of Sal & Pancho (You gentlemen and your short shorts do amuse)
-A Dogsitter/Housesitter/Cooking Teacher (Derick and I both FAIL)
-Work Outs WITH PEOPLE (Yes, Yes, UCL, the Golf Course, and Brackenridge will still be here)
-A Reason To Wear Something Other Than Running Clothes (I don't care if you have a band concert, art opening, or want to feed pigeons in the park- hold me accountable!)
-(And Finally) A Reason To Get Up Before 7 AM (serious laziness going on down here and it is too hot for that)

Also, I have some promises to make. If you all come back SOON I promise to:
-Try not to talk about "the good ol'days" and that-one-school-I-graduated-from all the time
-Not rant about the Barefoot movement, how big my feet have gotten, or the fun customers I get in the store
-Make it out to as many meets as possible this year
-Cheer my face off
-Eat my face off
-Actually have my Focus on Form days***COMING SOON to a track near you :)
-Take you on bird runs/walks (I know this is a big reason you guys are rushing back)
-Give you some great motivation!

SO HURRY!!!!
*********************************************************************************

For the Tigers in stripes that are not so Maroon, I hope you all know how much I miss you. I see you all growing your own traditions and moving to such an awesome level. Since I won't get to see my Gold & Black blood for SCAC, I may just have to find a flight out to good old Greencastle. The call is still there for you and I hope you still see it in what I write. The ages before you live on (we exist I promise!) through everything you guys do. Even all the way in Texas I can feel the heart, see the drive, and hear the passion that the team has. You guys face a new conference but you are armed with the right stuff to run with confidence and power. Remember the people you have supporting you- alumni everywhere cheering, family and friends pushing for you, the amazing coaching staff, and each other. Fight, run, hope, cheer, and dominate with each other. I can't wait to see how you all do. Thankfully, my stalking skills are still up to par.

To all the freshman I don't know- have a blast and love the run. The best thing I ever did my freshman year was drop in on Coach Stoffregen and just chat with him. We did that all four years and I ran faster than I ever thought I could. You want to improve? Talk. Chat. Discuss. Ask questions. And MOST important- LISTEN. The first time I really sat down with coach I asked him how he thought I was doing. He said fine, but I asked what else he wanted to say. I had heard his hesitation. He told me he thought I could work harder in practice. No one had said that to me for a long time, but he got me hungry and reminded me that this was a new level and that required more than ever! It was a suprise for me to hear I wasn't working hard enough, but if I wouldn't have stepped up my game that year I wouldn't have won Conferences as a freshman! Listen and talk to Coach Stoffregen. It makes a world of difference in your development as a college athlete and a person. (Also, laugh at his jokes- make sure he still has some good ones)

Get ready for an amazing year!

Handled

Race DAY!

Always fun, even if you don't really feel prepared!

This Sunday Derick and I decided to do the THTH Race sponsored, timed, and made awesome by Run On! It is called Too Hot To Handle for a reason- it takes place in July in Texas. Luckily the race started at 7:30 am, so we could actually survive and didn't have to rename the race "Too Hot to Handle so We Took a Ride in an Ambulance". Plus the weather was somewhat nice to us and the first half of our race was hleped out with some amazing cloud cover!

After the race-
both of us were happy
to be done with the hills!

The race was at Boerne City Lake in Boerne, Texas. If you have never been, the park is pretty awesome- trails, roads, and a lake to jump in! Perfect if you are a trialthlete! (Emily Watts- you should come visit me and check the place out!) I first visited the place to help out at the Tall Texan Triathlon and saw how great the place is if you need to get multiple modes of training in all in one location. Today we would only be utilizing the running aspect of the park. It was time to get our Run On!

With the AMAZING Mary Hamm-
One of the toughest people I know!

THTH features both a 5k and a 15k along Upper Cibilo Creek Road right outside the park. Both the 5k and 15k start at the same time and follow the same course- the 5k flips after halfway on an out and back course while the 15k runners get to keep heading out through the outskirts of Boerne. Derick and I both did the 15k and the racers stayed on the same road for an out and back course except for one right turn at mile 5-6 for an add on loop before heading back to the main road and the park.

My goal was to start the race around 7 minute pace and see how I handled the distance. This would be my longest race ever (if you don't count the half marthon I did with a friend back in December) and I was feeling less than prepared for the race. My work out earlier in the week had consisted of a sad little tempo where Derick destroyed me and my shufflebutt-hip complex beat me to pieces mentally and physically. While I knew my hip couldn't take the speed of competing in the 5k yet, I knew I was not in the right kind of shape to handle such a long race in the 15k either. But what coach says goes, so I put on my regular training shoes (I am ever so thankful for my pair of Brooks Adrenaline running shoes) instead of my racing flats hoping they would help me actually finish the distance!

After the gun went off and Derick pushed up to the front of the pack, I was left to wonder how the race was actually going to play out. I think one of the fun parts about the race was that everyone had the same kind of bib numbers. Some races have different bibs for the people doing different distances. Today, no one could tell who was doing which race (until we passed the 5k turnaround of course)! Derick and I were probably in the top 20 to start, and I was trying to be a bit more conservative, but I couldn't tell who was in the 5k and who was 15k! The pace at the front seemed like they might be doing the 5k, but I couldn't decide who. I was the only girl in the group until this sweet young lady caught up to me- Devin Clark, the womens over all winner in the 5k (she's only 14!!!). I told her to go catch the boys once we saw them turn around at the 5k flip. I was not-so-secretly wishing I could flip around with her! The boys in the lead were not too far in front of us and it would have been a lot of fun chasing them down.... but my path for the day was much longer.

I think some people call it character building? I think I would call it a gut check. Passing that turn around was a hard thing to do. I had to go against everything I am used to doing- short and fast. I was going to have to figure out what it would take to get me to the finish line of three 5k's in a row! It helped that Derick was in front and I could still see him for some of the race. The course was condusive to keeping a good rhythm because there were hills intermixed with some awesome straights to always give yourself a way to get your legs back. Plus, no one really had an advantage that way- if you were great at hills there were plenty for you to work, but there were also those flat fast zones too for people who could just roll. After the first 2 miles I was basically by myself and just trying not to let the guys I could see in front of me get any farther away. 

The Run On! Chicken-
Competed in the 5k

I ended up catching two guys (one being the D-rock) but the men up front were flying and ended the race in a 52 minute something time! So fast! It was fun to see them at all the turn-arounds with the lead bike, they were so smooth. My legs held together to average 6:36 mile pace for the 15k. My splits showed the two hills I had a tough time with and did some soul searching on, but my last mile was in 6:06 and reminded me that I haven't totally switched over to the dark side (the darks side meaning distances over a 5k!). The 1:01:38 it took me to finish the course got me 8th place overall and I was the first woman by 14 minutes or so. Derick ended up finishing in 1:03 and still had a smile on his face (at least for pictures). For his first race back, after running when ever he felt like it for preparation, he did pretty decent! Results up: 15k Overall.

My hip is extrememly stiff and sore the day after, but that is to be expected when I had to race off to work after the event was over! I have been seeing a chiropractor, Dr. Vanessa Vajdos and she has been helping put me back together a bit! She seriously cured the head cold I had for the whole week in one visit and made my hip run-able again. We went to see her because she is a runner herself! She won the Houston Marathon in 1980 and was sponsored by Nike! It was really fun to pick her brain, ask for advice, and hear about some major history on the running scene. Her coach Al Lawrence wrote a book that Derick has had for a while and her picture is in it with all her training! Now it has a fresh autograph on it from Dr. Vajdos! She knew a lot about the runners of her time and some awesome stories. She also gave great advice! :) My favorite part was when I asked her how hard it was to get sponsored and try the competitive running thing. She let me in on a few secrets....

Still banged up, still hoping, still running, and still smiling...

THTH you have been HANDLED

Life Goals

So a year in "limbo" as I am calling it seems to be long enough. It is time to set some goals. Evaluate what my actions are saying. See what choices I would like to make. I have been feeling a bit trapped by the lack of ways I can distinguish time. There are no semesters, no summer breaks, and not my regular fall cross country and spring track seasons to mark the passage of a year for me. My goals were always short term- next season, next race, next visit home, next team meeting, next class, next test, next summer job. The long term things always seemed to just work out for me. I had the easy four year goal of graduation. Another easy goal was finding a job. But now what? An entire year has gone by and I have very little to show for it. (Example: there is a large lack of planning going on for that wedding thing)

Realization #1- Since my life is no longer dictated by summer breaks and school semesters, my years are finally free.
-I am not limited to a 365 day plan.
-My goals have to be shaped differently and have a little more direction because of the freedom from restraints
-The easy road is the one already paved. Trying to carve semesters and school time periods into this time in my life is destroying what I have been released from. Wishing for college again because I didn't have to worry about what the next year would mean is WIMPY. Time to suck it up and find who I thought I discovered in college.

Realization #2- A lack of confidence is detrimental to goal setting, relationship building, and being able to perform consistently.
-Cutting myself down is an easy way to always be happy with what ever result
-Really common in my running attitude
-Easy way out, WIMPY again
-I know there is a believer in me still

It is new for me to try and think so far ahead, meaning more than a year in the future, so I have to take baby steps. If I can work on my two realizations above, my goals and efforts will be a bit more productive and then I can work on more.

Life Goals
- Short Term:
    Do my shufflebutt exercises everyday
    Practice patience with my dog and keep him smiling
    Take more photographs
    Explore where I live
    Give back more- people are incredible
    Write more letters
    Stay motivated
    Positive Visualization
    Prepare for 2012

-Long Term:
    Practice the policy of no regrets
    Race at an elite level
    Live in Oregon, Wyoming, or California
    Train with the right attitude
    Connect to the ones I love again (Family and Melissa Buckley, I freaking miss you)
    Prepare for hard times
    Do something worthy of getting a tattoo about it**

Now I can't write down goals without finding ways to aim for them. These are just as important as my goals.
  
Ways to achieve my goals:   
-Make time for things= friends, recovery, eating right, balance, love
-Understand that my actions lead to my happiness and how I choose to live life
-Smile
-Do 10 push ups any time I say sorry
-Quit my lack of confidence and my fear of pressure
-Hold my self accountable
-Set out with a mission for every day
-Journal more, write down how the time is passing
-Create a budget (time to understand how grown-ups spend money)
-Find inspiration in life, draw from it
-Practice visualization and use it well
-Get in the GYM
-Want to be SORE
-Run like a demon, race like a god, and pray like a saint
-Keep the mantras coming....

Now I know I am getting pretty self involved here. I don't normally like to state my goals so openly. I certainly have some pinned up only in my head and heart, but there are some that just help to be typed out.

Re-evaluation is a good thing and reminds us all what we want from life.

**Note- I am not sure if I actually want a tattoo. I just want to do something that I could say was deserving of getting a tattoo for it. One of those life moments that make you want to remember the experience in some way :)

Shuffling

Since my butt is currently out of commission, my runs have taken on a different sort of stride. Shuffling is getting me back on the road, and helping to keep me sane.

Meanwhile, I have some major work to do.

 

Since I work in shoe retail, I feel the need to remind you that
this is not an actually legit return reason!

So this is how we think (Airrosti and I) it all went down. Being the dedicated runner I am, I spend 98% of my time pounding the pavement. I figured if I didn't have much time, I better get in all the miles I could in order to get better.

It worked until I cheated on the saggital plane.

Jon's Run was such a blast and I almost had too much fun racing. Even though I had not put on my flats yet this year, I figured I would be fine racing. My second mistake was not checking out the course before hand. It was curvy, loopy, and not a track.This meant I was working muslces that didn't exist in my butt because I only move my legs in a running motion. I overstrided a bit trying to go fast and ended the race with a tweaked hamstring. Not that big a deal if you have strong butt muscles...

My worst and third mistake was still running after all of this and not letting my wimpy muscles rest. And finally, I didn't strengthen anything. I was so happy with the way I was running I figured if I was doing something wrong it would show up and I could just do some core again. 

60 days of running with no rest days led me to the office of Dr.DeRoche.

It was time to work the muscles that didn't exist in my little straight world.

While I was excited to get some exercises to work on butt strength, it really hit me that I am terribly behind in the derriere department. (Puns intended?) I can't even complete the myrtl routine with out pain. So Airrosti helped me take a large step backwards and work on progressing towards those exercises that looked so simple and easy. If you are a runner and have a moment, look it up and try it (to avoid a depressingly weak booty like mine) I can't stabilize my hips the correct way yet so I use a Physio Ball under them so I can actually start engaging my muscles the right way. This isn't the only routine I am starting but its the easiest way I can describe how far I have to go.

While my first steps with a new caboose are short and shuffley, they will hopefully be leading towards a habit. A good habit. One where I have a powerhouse pushing this little old train. A habit of stepping outside my little running box and exploring the wonderful world of athletics! Just don't count on seeing me play basketball, tennis, softball, lacrosse, volleyball, frisbee (unless the pup really wants to), ice skating, water skiing, rock climbing, football, and all those scary sports. Wait... what else is there?

Oh right, running.

Here's to hoping I can make running and body building work?

Well, the type of shuffling a runner can do. Plus, I am learning that if life doesn't give you time to do the things you want/need to do, you have to make time. So until I figure this out, my sleep is taking the brunt of the burden with the promise of a better future. Temporary. Until my good habits survive the 21 day challenge. If it can help me stop biting my nails in the 3rd grade, it will for sure help me now.

At least I can still smile while I shuffle.

Weak Sauce

Yes, Weak Sauce.

Would you like that served with a side of potatoes? Weak Sauce works especially well when served steaming on top of rump roast. Too well, in fact, for this runner.

My rump is officially roasted. Specifically, the butcher has decided my left rump was perfect for a Sunday dinner.

C'est la vie.

Or so I thought.

You all know, just run through it. Throw some ice and some dirt on it and you are good to go.

It got me through 4 years of college. But I am not trying to be a college runner any more. I am trying to grow up and run with the big ladies. They are stronger, faster, and more experienced.

So in hopes of turning my current Weak Sauce into some sort of stronger marinade for my obviously lacking backside, I needed a reset button. I needed help in the athletic kitchen. My rump was too twisted, too tight, and too off for all my tenderizing attempts.

Enter top chefs- Dr. Jason DeRoche and Lauren Martinez from AIRROSTI.

If you see someone in normal clothes and KT Tape, they have been to Airrosti. If you see some one in running clothes, KT Tape, and a big smile on their face- they have most definitely been to Airrosti...

Let me just explain the difference between when I walked in their office to when I walked out. Walking in I was depressed, worried about stress fractures, and thinking I wouldn't learn much more than I already knew. I limped in sleep deprived and frustrated with all of my attempts to make things better.

Just so you know- I walked out. No limp. No numb. Big smile. And some KT Tape. Add a pinch of strengthening exercises, a dash of active release therapy, and a topping of ice to turn any Weak Sauce into a Super Strong Brew. Airrosti knows runners especially well but they also understand how to help anyone with a huge range of Weak Sauce problems.

My rump still has a chance.

And life lesson learned. I can mess up with out any help, but I will need a lot to get better. Time to get hungry for something other than WEAK SAUCE!

Thank you thank you thank you Airrosti!

PS- to all of my weak butt muscles, welcome to the world. Get ready to be kicked. Period. If I don't kick you, someone else most definitely will.

Unattached

Welp, it has been a year since graduation. And here is what I have learned:

If there was an American Idol for runners I would stand in line, sign up, and pray. I can even see the possible titles now- "The Next American Pre", or "The Skinny", or "Survivor: Olympic Trials Edition", or something of the sort. Maybe Oprah could do a special on...shoot.

There would be rounds, tests, trials, underdogs, front runners, hometown favorites, judges, and, of course, fan voting. Competitors would be tested and judged on consistency, talent, guts, race savvy, teamwork, potential, heart, and that little bit of crazy that all runners have. The runners would get the chance to train at incredible facilities, with the best coaches, and full support teams ready to help them. This would all lead up to races and challenges as individuals and teams to see what the athletes could do given a chance.

I am not saying this would be the next summer hit show, but it would have plenty of drama, work, sweat, tears, and chances to shine. Really. It is a way to work on some of the biggest problems for the sport of track and field- lack of a fan base, lack of support, and the way potential athletes struggle after college.

Selling out you say?

You must not know American distance running. If that is selling out, then it would mean we finally have something to sell to America. Right now, the deal is very little for very few. A lot of good runners don't even stand a chance. Local heroes. PR junkies. Dreamers. Hard workers. The "unattached". The fairly fleet of feet. Doing the best we can with what we have.

It is a hard dream. One that I was half heartedly pursuing. Still loved running. I just had no idea how to keep going. Then, I smiled at the end of my race.

Remembering why

The training was getting hard and I didn't feel like anyone was giving me a chance. For a track girl, it sure is hard to watch all of the great track meets that have been happening this year and not really step on the track myself. The hardest part about trusting in your training is not always knowing where your fitness is, especially in a place you like to perform. And just hoping that you can put something together at the right time. I knew there would be a difference between training in college and training now, but this is pretty different.

Only a mile, leaves you with a smile

Running becomes more of a battle when you are working more than one job and trying to squeeze in the training. You just hope you can get back to where you were in college. Then what happens when you keep improving? Your own legs getting your hopes up. All the work you are trying to squeeze in just to maintain, and all the things telling you that you won't succeed? You know you are going to have to fight to feel good. Well, the fight is back. It came with a smile, a mile, and those awkward legs of mine. A pair of new shoes always helps. Fighting for that someday, one day, maybe chance that someone sees a little more. Or that your legs finally get you there. If no one else sees it, hopefully I can get my legs to take me there anyway...

Someday I hope someone takes a chance. It is a dream I will carry around for a long time. Unattached is tough, but the road is fun and there is always something new to do (and usually plenty of company). I'll just keep smiling, until something makes my smile bigger.

:)

This Little Light of Mine

The fireflies.

They found me in the middle of Texas.

I didn't think it was possible to see them anywhere but my Nana Pat and Papa's house in Iowa. Never did I think they would find me in Alamo Heights. Never did I think I would need a firefly to save me. Never did the underpass on Devine Road seem so magical. The dirt still smelled like the rain storm that just dumped through. Sherlock and I were running down the road at dusk.

Then, that little tiny light flashed. There were three small unforgettable bulbed bugs right in front of me. One of the most beautiful moments I have seen in Texas. Everything was simple. Green hung in the air. Ooooonn. Off. Ooooonn. Off. Ooooonn. Off. Everything else was just frozen, painless, and fuzzy in the background. My life slowed way down in an instant.

My fireflies reminded me of the way I wish I could always live my life. Slow. People laugh when I say I take everything but running slow, but it is the truth. Everything in Texas has seemed to be accelerating since i got here. I miss my speed. And by that I mean I miss my slow. I miss the days that felt like weeks and the moments where I got to just take everything in.

Never has a year passed by so quickly for me. I am no longer the just-graduated. In fact, I just had my first dinner, in a long time, where I really sat down and enjoyed it . (What helped was that the meal was just so incredibly good- sorry I am such a terrible cook Derick!) Does this mean I need yoga? That is what people have been telling me, and I see how that may seem. But reality? I just need some mountains. An ocean. Some sort of aged forest. And birds. Lots of them. An ocean isn't that much to ask, is it? I also need to not be the center of my own world again. That is when my life hits turbo drive and becomes less fun.

Did you know the human ear is tuned to hear best right around the same frequency of most bird song? My sanity lies in feathers and the clear sound of song. Good thing I bought a Groupon to the Mitchell Lake Audubon Center. Time to grab my bins, a sandwich, my hiking boots, and some sunscreen. Hello heaven.

I am getting that urge to go live outside again. It doesn't take long for your life to slow down when you stand next to a forest of trees that took hundreds of years to grow. I need something with rhythm, besides my own footsteps. Ooooonn, Off. That is how you slow your life down. All it takes is one little light to tell you. And one little vacation. Work, do you mind? :)

Green may mean "go" but in a "go slow" sort of way :) Welcome back to my life fireflies.

And Beyond

Listen up.

The mental aspect of running is tough. So much so that we sometimes don't give ourselves a fighting chance to do anything great.

In all honesty I think this should be the quote or theme of SCAC 2011/life:

"Beyond the very extreme of fatigue and distress, we may find amounts of ease and power we never dreamed ourselves to own; sources of strength never taxed at all because we never push through the obstruction" -William James

This sums up running for me. It sums up my goals, why I run, who I want it to help make me, and the reason I like to help other people get better at it. Notice the quote says nothing about winning. Nothing about glory. The quote is about an individual. Does it compare what two runners are doing? NOPE. Does it even sound that promising? NO, it sounds hard. Does it tell you how to qualify for the Olympics or win races? Hell no. It actually tells you to find your point of exhaustion. Wait, what?

Like I said, listen up-

There is a "beyond". Beyond the fatigue. Beyond the toughest work out you have under your belt. Beyond your worst day. Beyond your all-nighters. Beyond you hardest race. Beyond what you think will break you.

Beyond what does break you.

You want proof?

You are still standing. (Well sitting, but imagine with me here)

Actually, standing and reading.

That requires both physical effort and mental effort.

Running takes physical and mental effort.

So, in your past you have had what you thought was your toughest day. But, here you are. Standing, reading, and, hopefully, realizing that you will probably have a tougher day in your future.

Beyond.

Did you quit? Never run another step? No further work outs? Nope. You kept running.

That was physical. You fixed that all by yourself. But to get to the true beyond? I believe you need to fix the mental aspect too. And because some like structure, I thought I would try some steps to get you there:

1.) Sit your skinny runner butt down on a chair with your running shoes on your lap

2.) Put a mirror in front of you

3.) Stare yourself down for a minute- like an animal preparing for epic battle

4.) Open the line of communication- aka begin talking to yourself or visualization

5.) Follow some sort of conversation that convinces yourself to perform well even when you are tired, blown to shreds, cracked, sleep-deprived, under trained, over trained, heart broken, lost, stumbling, and crazy

6.) CONVINCE YOURSELF

7.) Convince your feet

8.) Convince your muscles

9.) Convince your shoes

10.) Convince your heart

Now, steps 1-3 really don't matter and steps 7-10 really follow your lead once you get to step 6. So really it is not that much to do.

I have SCAC fever and as SCAC T&F 2011 approaches I knew I wanted to remind people how to get through it. Most people do more than one event at conference. They deal with crazy conditions, tactical races, and pressure. So, my little SCAC athletes, please do not let the nerves and stress of the whole season tire you out before you even reach the line that day. You have one week to realize everything you have done in preparation for this meet.

You believe you should be tired after a hard work out. Tired after lots of weeks of racing. Exhausted with school. Stressed about life. Did your legs tell you all that? Did your muscles not do what you asked them to do? Or did you tell yourself you should feel tired. Should feel stressed.

All those things that the quote above doesn't mention? Well those happen when you break down barriers. The biggest barrier being your mental self and mental toughness. I don't care if you are a 12 year old kid who thinks he can win the Boston Marathon- with enough mental toughness you can get pretty darn close.* Those races I told my self that I was going to win, I usually ended up losing. The races where I ate my words, my miles, my workouts, my core, and my barriers were usually the ones I succeeded in.

*(I just watched a movie, Saint Ralph, about just that. Very weird but motivational movie if you have some down time as you are searching for "beyond")

Forget that you are telling yourself you are tired and watch what happens. By all means, take full care of yourself and make yourself comfortable.

But strap yourself in and drive towards that moment you know will be tough and experience beyond.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

See you on the oval.

O SCAC, My SCAC

O Conference, my Conference- our trip is nearly done!
These spikes have weather'd every track, the prize sought nearly won.
The line is near, the gun I hear, the people all cheering.
We all converge with jerseys worn, our stares bold and daring:
But O track! track! track!
O the moments in my head,
Where on the line my heart will lie,
My feet no longer tread.

O Conference, my Conference- rise up and bid farewell!
Rise up- for one team has nearly left- for a little we can dwell.
For your hist'ry and golden stripes- for you the line is calling.
For you they call, the gun will start, the final laps awaiting.
Here Conference, dear SCAC!
This team you pushed ahead;
It is some dream that on the track,
The names won't be read.

My Conference knows the answer, the chance happens once more.
The SCAC still has four tigers, and will until one final meet score.
Teams gather towards epic Memphis, a final showdown there.
From trip to track the feet will meet, winning by maybe a hair.
Shoot, O gun, and cheer, O teams!
Thus we hurdle the dead,
Again, fighting for the trophy;
Whose hunger will be fed?

In Defense of the Oval

I have been reading quite a few articles on a certain subject lately. Simply put, people are discussing the difficulty of training post-college. Where should and where can graduated athletes go to continue training? It has been a question that has been on my mind a lot. For a runner like me, with no flashy sponsors, no housing provided, and no top of the line facilities begging me to come train on them, where do I go?

Obviously, if I want to keep training, then I go where I can. I am lucky to have the Trinity Track to train on and a coach who will get up early with me. But, I pay a gym membership to lift. I don't have massage therapists on speed dial. I really miss my wonderful trails to I used to have. I even struggle to find a legitimate way to get in an ice bath, which used to be a core aspect of my training.

But if there is one thing I thought for sure was sacred, it was the track. My zone. The place where the distance is all there, just waiting to happen.

Everything was just right this morning, too. So little wind. And it had been a little while since a longer work out had happened. The horsepower was there.

I wish I could say the biggest power came from my legs, but there was this enormous mower that I had to fight for the track. I was in the middle of my first 2k and a few utility guys rolled up in their golf cart and started moving things off of the grass and into lane 1 and 2. Some steeple barriers, a bench or two, and some kind of fencing material. It was a runner's frogger nightmare. I kept waiting for the track to break in half and make me ford a stream to get to my next split. As I tried to keep my cool, the mower came in. Engines roaring and grass flying. That man was on a mission to make sure every blade of grass was the same length. He went back and forth but always seemed to end up on the same length of the backstretch when I came around. Each time he came to the end of the strip he was mowing he would go on to the track to turn around. I don't mind going into lane two, but this was ridiculous. The track is the one place that I have where I am not supposed to fight fuel powered machines. Yet, we battled.

Of course I finished the work out. Derick helped move things out of lane one. The mower never actually got that close and I probably fought my allergies harder than anything else this morning. But, despite the lack of drama, I still had this sense of violation when I left for my cool down. I know the groundsmen were trying to do the same thing I was by taking care of business early to escape the heat, but where was the respect for the track?

So, now I go on and fight for the oval. My work outs have taken on new meaning. No longer do I stride around the curves in order to get a simple work out in. I have become the protector of the mondo. While I probably wont chain myself to the starting line or try to sabotage the mower gears, I will carry with me the belief that the track deserves respect for everything it is. Those red lanes have let me keep training, in spite of all the things that go against my success. An open, lighted, well maintained track is available for my use. And anyone else who desires to find their own distance. People have started with less.

I have 8 lanes willing to show me the right direction and help my mind find its way through the tough parts. All other sports have it, the sacred spot. The one place where magic happens. Remember that the spring brings us the chance to show the magic of our sport.

Rise to the defense of the oval... 

Puddle Jumping

The air was humid. Like right before a rain in Arizona and during the first week back from summer in Indiana. But it was Texas. It was semi-early. And it wasn't raining, sadly.

I woke up and hoped my feet remembered what to do. Hoped my heart knew how to make my blood flow. Hoped my lungs knew how to catch my breath. And really hoped my muscles remembered how to work. I really hoped they remembered what to do. Because my fingers remembered how to lace my shoes and it felt like someone had teleported me to the starting line. And sometimes my head can get a bit fuzzy.

Who knew that coming back could be so nerve-wrecking?

I saw this kid, #304, sitting and tying his shoes by the line and I just knew he was going to make me feel old today. Work had talked me into doing the race anyway and I thought I could just treat it like my Saturday work out. But now my feet were getting that itch. Like they didn't care what the pace was as long as it was deserving of a pair of wings. My pre-race routine was calling my name.

Shake my arms. Stretch my hips. Swing my legs. Pit stop. Check my number. Loose my warm-ups. Attach my chip. Pit stop. Take my inhaler. Set my mind. Remember my strategy. Today the goal was negative splits. Or some sort of split. Any kind of split. While everything was coming back to me, I didn't really know if my legs would actually remember how to race.

The gun went off a few minutes late, but it didn't really matter. This wasn't nationals. But my legs were excited anyway. From the gun it was me and Mr. 304. A little man in green blew by us after the first 200m and I thought, "really?" this is supposed to be a fun day. So Mr. 304 and I took off stride for stride after him. All of 200m later and it was back to a 2 person race. I was actually really surprised that I was keeping up with this kid. First off he was a guy. Second he had guy legs. Third he had guy lungs. You get the picture. But every time he would start to pull away, I would edge right back up to him. I think it bothers me when people test me like that. But I thought it was better than what the little man in green did. Then, we hit the turns.

It was a short out and back course with quite a few turns that didn't look that bad on paper, but running them turned out to be a fun thing. Track, cross country, or something had prepared me for the turns that day. I just rolled right through and watched little gaps start to form between my stride and 304. Now that felt good. As hard as the race was getting for me, I liked rocking the curves. Mile 1 split: 5:40.

Afterwards, my boss said the guy's face was priceless. He saw the pair of us roll around the turn around and he was gasping. I offered that I was too, or at least I really felt like it, but my boss denied me, "you looked like you could have been running through a field of flowers." Mile 2 split: some where in the upper 5:40's.

That's when I felt the separation build and I took off after the lead cart. I even smiled crossing the finish line. My legs had remembered what to do! I tried to explain to my boss and some of my friends at the finish line after the race the reason why I didn't look so tired or like I joined the struggle bus circus in the race. I was just as tired, just as worn out, and in need of as much oxygen as everyone else. But, college is full of sharks. And if you look like a dying minnow out there, you will be eaten. So, while I may not have always been the fastest going in, I sometimes could pull things off by trying really hard to not look breakable. Non-edible. Mile 3 split: 5:35.

Thank god my body remembered how to do that a bit and my lungs didn't make me sound like I was ready to quit a 3-pack a day habit. To me, it gave me the hope that my dreams of still competing well are not too far out of reach. I had gotten my feet wet. I could see the large pool I was aiming towards, but I also saw the fins swarming in the water. Knowing I am not ready to dive into those shark infested waters, it is time for some puddle enjoyment. Puddle jumping. :)

Final Road 5K time: 17:37 at the Rattler Run 5k. March 26, 2011

Won one for the girls... I am a long way from feeling great, but I am closer to feeling good. More races to come...

SB2011

Minus the Spring Break part.

In Texas, everyone is just finishing up their week of vacation and let me tell you, don't go to Walmart for a quick grocery run on Sunday. People are there buying the whole store!

My mini-SB2011 happened on Saturday after quite a long week. Everybody at work except for me and my boss asked for the week off. So we ploughed through the work week together!

The store was busy and it really helped the week go by pretty quickly. But it also meant it was a pretty tiring week. My first day off was Friday and it was so nice! But I was feeling the effects of the past week very much.

My run on Friday was less of a run as it was me trying to push the world off the bottom of my feet. My leg muscles stopped working at about half a mile in and my feet became my heroes. Thank goodness I have forced them mile after mile in the previous years because that was the only way they finished the run Friday. They were little machines. Well, big machines. But they didn't have the rest of me to support them. So I got through the run Friday and tried a mini-work out on Saturday, which ended up being mini. And it was still my feet that got me through it. My muscles were just pretty useless this week. All because I did not fuel them correctly. Luckily I got back to my regular schedule this week. And the little pep in my step is slowly returning.

It reminded me of why the little things matter so much. You can push yourself as much as you want. Run yourself into the ground. So easy to do. Time to learn from it all. Take my feet a few more steps. And stay thankful that they still really know how to do their job.

 

Simple

Don't let your goals become your limits.

I got to the gym after work last night. Small victories.

My goal was to bench the bar at Lifetime. That goal became a limit :)

But just because I did not bench the bar, and I found a limit it does not mean I can't go to the gym and work on my strength.

Thank goodness for cult-like gyms after graduation. Sorry that I still do not have the urge to do aerobics and yoga, but, Lifetime, I love the crazy outfits I see and the women who straighten their hair and put on makeup just to lift weights and talk on their phones.

Also, ps- Lifetime, thank you for showing the finale of the Bachelor and an episode of Bones at the same time on the telivisions while I was doing planks. I forgot the kind of tv I was missing at home with the total of 2 channels we have to watch. You just added to the list of why I like going :) It is like realizing in college you can do multiple loads of laundry at once because of all the washers and dryers together. Now, if I could drop off my laundry, get my work out in, watch some of my favorite shows, and take my puppy for a walk all at the same time, I may have to marry you. Derick- the challenge is on :)

Awkward Long Legged Turtle

Shopping at Walmart.

Checking out and waiting for my receipt. Standing around for all 100 $ worth of groceries to be bagged.

Such a boring trip. Until I asked for quarters.

The cashier directed me to the bank behind me. Hauling myself over to the counter I asked if they could change out a roll of quarters. Laundry Mount Everest needed to be dominated. The guy seemed way to eager to help me.

And while my mom has always said I have a nice pair of these, I just thought they were too pale and awkward for the world. Until I moved to Texas. I guess the warm weather and some lifting have been doing me some good because the teller took a breath and spit out, "Just so you know, you have a really nice pair of legs." Whew. Glad he said legs. Wait? He said legs?

This was all happening to fast. I just needed quarters. Suddenly my running shorts felt too short and my shopping cart was way to heavy. I also felt the major need to flash my gorgeous engagement ring extra well when I reached for the necessary coins of domination that he was handing me. I was too embarrassed to say anything so I just turned to go. He called out, "I just thought you should know, they are nice!"

So awkward.

...

Are people in Texas just willing to say more? I had a guy come in at work and call me "A tall drink of water" right in front of his teenage daughter, who rolled her eyes and said, "Daaaad, please." I think Texans are a very confident group of people. It is pretty intimidating. 

SO I am just going to take myself back to the track. Put on my shoes. Try get some more miles under my belt. That is where I always feel at home. My legs are good at turning left. They have more freckles than muscles. And, besides causing me a little embarrassment, the are the most coordinated things I have. That isn't saying much, but it is what I am thankful for.

Life question- So if my legs look better after only a little bit of lifting, why don't my arms follow suit? SAS has made an all too triumphant return. Even with lifting they are still pretty pathetic. In fact, my trainer doesn't think I can even bench press the bar. Not that any runner needs to be able to bench press a bar, but I could do that when I was in junior high. This week's small goal is to prove I can hoist that dumb metal bar up over my face in a precarious position. Time to start praying!

Better Than Christmas

I am completely obsessed with DIII athletics.

It is hard to let go of something so great. So I choose to obsess. And this week is a great time to obsess!

ITS NATIONALS!! Indoor Track Nationals to be precise. NCAA DIII Indoor Track & Field Nationals 2011.

My favorite time of year. It is like Christmas wrapped in sweat, colorful jerseys, and spikes. Pretty close to the smell of cookies baking, christmas lights, and shiny ornaments right?

But what do you wrap this time of year? RACES, RACES, AND MORE RACES!

Christmas gets all the hype though. We start the decorating, songs, and shopping way before the month of December. Well, Nationals are this weekend and I have not witnessed much hype. The Championships were hosted at my alma mater (DEPAUW University) last year and I was spoiled with all the attention the meet got. Now I am way out in Texas and have to generate my own hoopla. Letsrun and Flotrack don't even try to get the excitement going like they do for all the other divisions So here is my pre-nationals DIII 2011 hype hysteria hoopla athletes to watch list!

800m
Top qualifying time this year: Keelie Finnel of Coe College with a 2:10.62
Number of athletes: 15
2010 Winning time: 2:09.24 Emily Schudrowitz of St. Norbert
Why I can't wait for this event: I remember watching Keelie Finnel last year in the 400m and praying that I would graduate before she moved up to the 800! She announced her presence this year in the 800 after having a pretty descent run in the 400 realm. Now she faces the past champ in Schudrowitz and seasoned 800m studs in Ann Tank, Meryl Wimberley, and Tara Clemens. Clemens is a great athlete to watch because I knew and raced her older sister. If they are anything alike, Tara will really put her heart out there in the race this weekend. Ann Tank is one of the biggest fighters I have ever raced and will help keep the race honest. Another emerging star is Leah Clement of Wellesley. She has absolutely obliterated races this season and it has been really exciting to watch her progression.

MILE
Top qualifying time of 2011: Randelle Boots of Wellesley College with a 4:50.12
Number of athletes: 15
2010 Winning time: 4:50.20 Marie Borner of Bethel University
Why I can't wait for this event: This event holds a big spot in my running soul. It was one of the coolest races I have ever competed in. And this year the race looks even better. I have another big spot in my running soul saved for Randelle Boots. An absolutely impressive mix of intensity, dedication, and talent can be found inside her. And this is just from the few times I have met and raced with her. She and her coach have done a phenomenal job of getting her ready for this meet and the many more championship meets she has to come. I wish I could be there to see this event in person. It has EPIC written all over it. All 15 entrants deserve to be there and all have an impressive list of reasons why I respect them. I have to give a shout out to Catie Ellingson, Maeve Evans, and Claire Roberts because they are just a great group of girls to watch race. Also, Amy Wilfert, Heather Waterman, and Simone Childs-Walker deserve the tough competitor shout out because I know a little bit about how hard they worked to get to the National Championship this year. Good luck to all of you and make sure you leave the track smoking!

5k
Top qualifying time 2011: Wendy Palvus of St. Lawrence with a 16:57.71
Number of athletes: 15
2010 Winning time: 16:59.40 by Wendy Palvus of St. Lawrence University
Why I can't wait for this event: This is the race I love to hate. In all honesty it is too long for indoor track! But there are some amazing girls ready to tear into this race come Saturday! The returning champ is the firery Wendy Palvus and she does have the impressive career to back her up. With two XC National Championship titles she should find running on a flat track to be quite enjoyable and easier to pace! But, in her abscense from outdoor track Nationals last year another distance start showed her worth: LIZ LAWTON! I will forever be a diehard fan of this savy racer from the University of Chicago. While I have been destroyed in races by both runners, Liz Lawton was just so much fun to watch and had an amazing set of guts! Who really wants to double in the 5k/10k outdoors? She did. She destroyed. She won both! While Palvus won last years indoor 5k event, I think there will be an exchange in the crown this year. Lawton has some fuel for her fire from the Cross Country season and her 2 National Outdoor Titles so I think it will help her win the legitimate battle we have in this race. There will be some excellent doulbers in this event too- Simone Childs-Walker and Maeve Evans are doing both the mile and the 5k. They deserve the major hardcore shout out of the preview because that is a tough double. Especially for indoors. The turns are tight and you don't have very much time to recover from prelims like you do in outdoors. But they both are terrific racers who should handle the fun that doubling brings very very well. Joanna Johnson has been a consistent name in DIII distance as well and will add even more depth to this incredible field.

PENTATHALON
There is only one reason I need to talk about this event. COURTNEY LAUER. And there is only one phrase you need to know for this event- LAUER POWER!!!! While this event is complex with a bunch of events thrown together, the outcome is simple- one winner. And I just happen to know that the person with the most guts, heart, and almost freakish talent out there will be the Ironwoman Lauer. Anyone who can come back from shoulder surgery and rank third in the nation with just 2 pentathalons under her belt is going to bring the heat for the actuall National competition. She knows what a National Championship tastes like too- with DePauw's first Basketball title ever she is well prepared to handle pressure. Plus she got her feet wet with an All-American in the Heptathalon in Outdoors last spring. I will be wearing my tiger striped jersey under my work clothes come Friday and Saturday for her.



I wish I could be there to cheer for all the athletes that will be competing this weekend. My favorite thing to do besides racing is cheering. Graduation has allowed me to work on my cheering skill set and I think I could do some major supporting at the meet after all the practice I have had :) Good luck to all the competitiors. Enjoy the moments. Remember the sounds. Craft your own desire. May you find that you have no limits. I can't wait to see each race unfold like wrapping paper on Christmas day!

Smile. The National Meet is almost here!