What keeps you coming back?
Why do you wake up in the morning, put on your shoes, and take a deep breath?
What hooks us in and keeps us going?
Oh the questions an addict asks themselves.
As 2010 hears the gun lap and 2011 slips on freshly tightened spikes, I think it is time to get perspective on the mechanisms of a runner!
My answer: Irony...
Its the irony of the whole sport that keeps me going. I want to run faster in order to get done just that little bit quicker. But in order for me to do that, the run will have to hurt more. Get done quicker, but hurt more. Run slower, hurt less (in most cases). Irony.
There are small areas of irony. Take the weeks where you know you did not eat right, sleep right, or think right for a race and, yet, it produced one of your best races. Sure, it was the months of work that you put in before that helped you get through a tough week, but, really? You can put in the same amount of work and sleep right, eat right, and prepare yourself mentally and just not have it that day. Irony.
Or there can be rather large sections of irony. As in LARGE. They are big enough to be state-altering. I am still trying to let go of the biggest irony of my career. My feet were full of irony in my last two collegiate races. About 100m from the finish of my last 1500m race I ran out of whatever gas my legs needed and I face-planted a few feet from the finish line. I went from 2nd to 9th place.
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| A whole lot of runmotions being displayed here. Ironic? |
I see this moment in my head a lot on my runs. To me, its motivating and depressing. Honestly. The irony is there. But the larger state-altering irony lies in what happened after I crossed the finish line. An hour and a half later I had to step on the line for the final race of my collegiate career, which I had only run three times before, the 5k. I could hardly get myself across the line for 3 and 3/4ths of a lap, but 12 and a half laps later I was standing on a podium getting my All-American trophy. Not only were my legs tired before I even got on the line for that race, my confidence was half way broken, and my head was telling me I would not even finish the race but it was Nationals! Nationals! Nationals means "A Game" and nothing less.
It is the irony that has made me cry. It is the irony that has made me thankful. It is the irony that has made me laugh, trip, sense, hope, and enjoy it all. And it is the irony that is keeping me going.
It took a while for me to appreciate that irony is here. And it is what gets me up in the morning. It is my new answer for when people beg the question, "Why do you run?'
IRONY.
The best part about running is it never gets boring. Thanks to irony. Thanks to emotions. Thanks to all the sweat we pour and all the heart we give.
Give irony a whirl. See what it can do.
At least your runs will never be the same if you mix a smile, irony, and sweat :)
-Soren Kierkegaard
Lauren,
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post! First, I want to completely agree with you. Although I have never heard of the reason we run being irony before it might just be the perfect way to describe it! Without the ups and downs there would be no reason to continue doing what we do. Second, I hope that you are proud of your work at Nationals even though it may not have turned out to be as great as you had expected going into it. I remember being in the crowd when you hit the ground in the home stretch. Everyone wondering what happened; I never got an answer until I heard you talking about it as we stood waiting for the 5k. You were standing there, calm and seemingly confident, like nothing really odd or disheartening had just happened. It looked like you had left your last race on the track and were ready to take on the challenge of the 5k. As stupid as it may seem, I didn't think you were upset about it...and I thought, that's talent. I ran the steeple the day before. It DEFINITELY didn't go as planned; over training, a bit of anemia and low self confidence made me crumble. I was really upset after that race, wondering how I would be able to turn around and run well the next day in the 5k (I wanted more than anything to not have to run it). I was telling Willy about my lack of confidence and my concerns about my upcoming race. He told me to have a short memory, that that was the only way I would have a chance of doing well. Having a short memory is a talent for athletes to have, a talent that I had not/have not developed. The 5k happened andI let it get away from me because I kept holding onto my failure. After that race Willy gave me a perfect example of having a short memory...your story. He pointed out that you got back up after a disappointing race a few hours before, a race that probably made you doubt yourself, and brought your A game because you no longer had control over what happened in the 1500. Although you may have had a bruised confidence, were questioning your legs ability to do well, let alone finish this race, and were disappointed, you did an amazing job at doing what you came there to do. This is a perfect first hand example of mental toughness... a quality that leads us straight to success (if you have enough of it :)). You did that day, and I hope that you remember that day as a positive to your running career because it is pretty bomb ass. Congratulations of your success and good luck in the near future. :)
Keep running.
~Stephanie