Gut Check

So my day off began with a simple question today.

Derick asked me, "Am I running the work out today with you?"

And, probably a little to quickly for his liking, I answered, "Nope". I may have the day off from work today, but I have to dedicate a few hours to the track. Now for years I have been loving running with people, working out with them, training with them, finding strength and inspiration with them. But this Saturday was different. My whole senior year I leaned on the abilities of my bearded wonder in order to work harder and have someone to push me. It really helped. A year later, why wouldn't the same approach work? I almost didn't believe that I said it myself.

It was easier to have Derick run the work out with me. Pace me. Keep me motivated. Push me. Yet, at this point in my training though, my goals are not what they were a year ago. I had dreams of running with girls who were much faster than me, and more talented. I set goals of showing up to competition with multiple levels of NCAA division runners and winning. I no longer wanted to wonder what my boundaries were. I was determined to find out what my best could be. So, I needed someone there to push me. And Derick did a wonderful job. And I found out what it was like to have a good day on race day.

This rainy Saturday, my goals look much different. I need the basics. My 400's are no longer smoothly running a 65. I don't race every weekend. In fact, I haven't raced on a track for almost a year. It is my favorite thing to do and I haven't done it. And I am waiting. With as much patience as I can muster. But Derick keeps telling me two things: Patience and Responsibility. So I asked him to kindly step off the track, start his watch, and keep the work outs coming. If I am going to learn how to take responsibility for my running, I figured I should start by moving my own legs. I know there will probably be a time where it will be important to have Derick as a training partner again, but right now I need to learn a few things. All the things I have forgotten in the year with out track.

I have a great support system, lots of determination, and some semi-willing legs so I know I need to keep my attitude on the right track in order to be successful. So for a little bit, that will mean the track and I will be our own little world. My races are no longer about how fast you can run the first lap and kick home. Those require pushing and turnover. Races now mean pacing, rhythm, and guts. That means getting your head on straight and your feet connected to your internal metronome.

My pace is my responsibility. To learn it, I need to do it. Plus, right now the work outs are not about pushing pace. They are all about finding it and repeating. Not glamorous. Not heroic. Nothing but the essentials. And that usually means a major gut check for me.

Time to practice. Time to work. And time to hope my legs grow wings...