Winging It

How many times a day do you check your watch?

Work. Errands. How does your schedule look?

Shower time. Me time. Run time. Time to cook. Time to drive. Time to clean.

And the one thing that I love to do is check that clock. Scratch that. I hate it. There are so many other things to see than those glowing numbers telling me I am late, too slow, and running out of time. Even if I got rid of my watch I have this internal thing that tells me time. I wouldn't call it a watch because this thing is moody, exhaustible, and not always punctual. But it is there. It is why I can hit pace in work outs.

Most of the time.

This is where life would be perfect if I had bird sense. Birds have this amazing ability to tell the time and direction they need to be headed depending on what time of year it is. If you kept a migratory bird in a cage at night when they are supposed to be flying to their destination they will focus their attention in the cage in that direction. They may hop around the cage, but their restlessness is always orientated towards their main goal. Plus they can fly for days. Jealous.

To me, I am at the point where I am a bird in a cage. Not in the confining or restrictive sense, but the transitional moment. Some one is about to release me. I am about to fly. Migrate. Eclipse the earth. But where a bird may know a singular pull of the direction it should go, I feel so much directional gravity that my wings don't know which way to flap. All they know for sure is a daily routine. I believe I took a major flight when I went to college... Left the nest and flew straight into a cage. Somewhere you are only supposed to spend a small amount of time. It is time for my feathers to grow again, find some gloss, and feel the wind.

I am not flapping away from San Antonio or anything else you can fit into that little metaphor. My feathers actually look great here! This is that silly internal thing that some people like to type out when they have a moment of insecurity in life. I hear that little internal thing chiming. I don't know if it is a timer, a life GPS unit, or a full-on moral systems check up. But it is there.

Usually it makes me just want to run more. Good thing my feet point forward or I would be going in circles...Thank god I have a pair of shoes. And some hard work outs ahead. I already feel the pull of those. The rest of the stuff I am pretty sure that I am just winging it...

Life tends to batter the things
that are supposed to get you places

Good thing wings grow back
All you have to do
Is look ahead